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  • Writer's pictureStephanie Black

Today I disposed of a Body....

Well friends, time for a daily update, because... well... today has been one of those days that doesn’t happen so I can keep it to myself. You might as well enjoy it too...

1. Today I disposed of a body. That’s how my day began. Somehow during this crazy season of life I ended up with 4 ducks. Until about a week ago. I came home from work one evening and there were only 3 ducks. What happened to the 4th duck, you ask? I have no idea. Gone. It was just gone. No evidence that it ever existed. But on a positive side, no body to dispose of. 3 out of 4. A 75% success rate. I mean not great. But not awful. And then I woke up this morning. I’m not an animal person and have never had a pet, but for some reason when I get up in the morning I feel the need to look out the back sliding door to see the ducks. And….then there were 2 ducks. This time though I know what happened to the third. I spotted it at the back of my fenced in yard. And it was gross. And for the first time in my life I had to dispose of a body. I’d tell you where I disposed of it at, but that’s a story for another day. A shovel, multiple garbage bags and a transport of the body were involved and I’m pretty sure that body will never be found. Needless to say if I ever decide to live a life of crime, I think I might be quite good at it. But also…. why am I sad? And why do I feel like I failed? The other two ducks are currently scarred for life and hiding under my deck. And with a 50% success rate now…. Well…. I’m not sure any of you want to trust me with your kids if you have more than one. Just sayin’.

2. And since I disposed of a body today, it seems to make sense that there would be a dog in my house. I don’t have words to explain this.

3. Do you ever accidentally drop a knife on off the counter and quickly jump back because somewhere in your mind you know there’s a chance that it could hit your foot. But does this ever actually happen? Yes, friend I can for sure say that it does actually happen. It seems only right that the day would end with dropping a knife on my foot.

4. Did I mention that in the midst of all of this the paper I am currently writing for school is on suffering? I had to laugh a little at that. Does that count as irony?!? Don’t worry, the reality is I am not actually suffering from a duck dying or a cut foot. I might be suffering a little with a dog in my house…. Haha. Just kidding.

Also, please no judgement on how many tabs I currently have open on my computer. #somany

5. On a positive note…. I seem to be keeping my garden alive.


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